Three Things: Twilight Edition

twilight-cast

As Twilight’s last DVD release date nears we finally find ourselves at the end of the era of sparkly vampires, moody teens, and lovesick werewolves and I for one have a few bones to pick.  So here are the three things that have consistently annoyed the crap out of me since this damn series began.

Lets get right into it shall we….

Three Things That Annoy Me About the Twilight Series

1. Bella

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Maybe it’s Kristen’s acting, maybe it’s the writing, or maybe I’m easily annoyed, but I have never liked Bella Swan. Throughout the entire series I have consistently found this character insufferable and never found myself lost in the moment rooting for her (which is rare for me). As a matter of fact I tend to find myself wishing I could replace Bella with Anna Kendrick’s character because she seems so much more likeable and happy.

From the miserable looks to the struggle with expressing herself watching Bella on the screen is just plain painful. And lest you think my opinion of Bella is strictly based on Kristen and the films let me tell you I also really didn’t like her in the books (well the ones I read) either.  It’s part of the reason I never committed to reading the series. I remember reading the first book and liking it, then moving on to the next ones and getting incredibly bored. Not so much because of the story, but because I just couldn’t get on team Bella. She’s a weak character, a chronic damsel in distress, and I absolutely cannot connect with that.

I think it’s because for me Bella has no reason to be constantly miserable, we are presented with this angst ridden girl with absolutely nothing to have angst about. So what’s wrong with her? Is she depressed and if she is maybe she needs to get help. Also because I don’t like her I can’t really understand why a guy would, yet alone two guys and I sure as hell don’t get why she would be the center of a series long feud between the two.

2. Why So Serious?

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And speaking of loving Bella, why is that love so damn intense. I got caught up in the first book and film for a minute because it followed the usual boy likes girl, girl likes boy story line that chicks like me eat up. Then that shit just got hella (yep I used hella) weird.

Let me get this straight, your boyfriend of less than a year dumps you and moves away so you go into a deep depression for months. Then when you finally get your ass out of the house you decide to damn near kill yourself in order to see him again…. when I said Bella was depressed and needed help this right here is the thing that 110% proves it.  Who does that? If someone did that in real life they would be locked up in an institution or at the very least shipped to regular therapy sessions.

I get Edward is a vampire and thus rather intense, but why would any 17-year-old girl without some major mental issues want to be that intense. Honestly what is romantic about watching two teenagers professing their love and vowing to die rather than be apart? And if you want to bring up Romeo and Juliet I would just like to point out if their families didn’t suck they never would have killed themselves and BTW remember their deaths were an accident (well the initial one was).

3. Martyr for Love

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The thing that may actually have annoyed me most about the entirety of the Twilight series is the perpetuation of the idea that girls should always choose the bad boy, the boy you have to work for. Now Edward is the watered down version of the bad boy, but he is dangerous and Bella has to give up everything about who she is to be with him so technically he fits the bill. Bella picks him because she thinks he is the best choice for her rather than Jacob the nice boy who genuinely makes her happy.

And here’s the thing, I just don’t get it. Bella explains it as choosing between who she should be and who she is, but like most things in this story that explanation makes no sense.  The problem with her explanation being Bella makes it sound like she is choosing the option that will help her grow into the woman she is supposed to be, but in actuality she isn’t. By choosing Edward, Bella literally choose to stay suspended forever the same age, forever hiding, forever with Edward watching everything that was hers fall away in exchange for his life. And by saying this is who she is supposed to be she takes on this pathetic pride in being a martyr for love.

And this is what bugs me most because that is the message that women are always receiving, in order to have a good relationship you need to become a martyr. You need to change yourself to connect to someone else, love requires work and as a woman you need to put in the time to make your man into what you want. The ready-made guy (Jacob) is not good enough sure you love him, are attracted to him, and he makes you happy, but the relationship is not intense enough. Jacob loves Bella for who she is he isn’t bossy or domineering and with him she can be happy and doesn’t have to throw everything about who she is away.

Granted sometime the guy that’s good for you may not be the right one, but this is not the case with Bella. She is in love with both guys and chooses Edward and it will always bug me that we tell young girls that notion is romantic.

 

And that’s all folks, the three (though the list could easily have been much longer) things that bugged me most about the Twilight series. Stay tuned for the three things I liked most later this week.

Gidg ;0)

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