If You Ask Me I’m Ready

Original Post Date: 7/2/10

I am obsessed with the song and video for Unthinkable by Alicia Keys. No lie I have been playing this song on repeat for the past few days and watching the video a minimum of 5  make that 6 times a day. It is so beautiful and honest about our community and it inspired me to post on the topic of interracial dating because recently I read some varying opinions and like every blogger (aka annoying nerd with a computer) I intend to voice my opinion about it. So here is the video because it is amazing and I’ll talk later….probably not as amazing.

Am I right or am I right?

So for those of you that may not have caught it the video is showing how the views on interracial dating have changed very little over the past 50-60 years and I’m guessing Ms. Keys is really trying to get us to ask the question why?  And I must admit I wonder that myself.  When I went online to look for something about this video I came across a Regina King interview where she was encouraging black women to date outside their race. In it she basically said the old argument that when you limit yourself to one race you eliminate all of the other amazing choices out there, which in my opinion is true.

It is no secret that I have an immense appreciation for boys of all colors (seriously look at my blog guys) and in my head taking out 75% of them because they don’t match the color requirement is insane. My entire life I have functioned under the belief that I see cute not color, but I also understand why other people think differently. Jill Scott also had an interview wherein she stated that she wasn’t really for interracial dating and she gave the reasons of slavery and mistreatment over the years. And honestly I believe she brought up some very valid points. I don’t care what side of the argument you are on it can be disheartening to see a black man who will only date white girls and for men vice versa. I honestly understand what she means because it does make even the most liberal even minded black girl question what is wrong with us. I never really thought I would have a reaction to this because my friends and myself have mixed and matched like crazy, but when I had a classmate in college write on his Facebook page that he only likes white chocolate my reaction was seriously WTF!  If he openly dated girls of all races I wouldn’t have thought twice about it but the fact that every single minority was not his type pissed me off. When you’re a minority the people you choose to date (whether it is fair or not) become a reflection of what you think about your own people and to choose to only date a race outside your own sends the message that you don’t like who you are. And yes it is archaic to think that way, but really it is a sensible conclusion. We want in a partner what we love about ourselves or rather what we love that they bring out in us. So what does a black girl/guy get out of exclusively white relationships? It’s a valid question.

I think there is something there to be looked at because it is not right to reject everyone who looks like you, just like it is not right to reject everyone that doesn’t look like you. My two black friends that date white people exclusively have tons of black friends, listen to black music, and do black things (whatever that means), so its clear they have no problem with black people in general. The guy even joined a black fraternity, so why not date black girls? It is just strange and I think we should question these racial exclusions. I don’t let my black friends that don’t believe in dating outside the race off the hook so why let these guys off. The world has so many amazing beautiful people who you can live and laugh and love with and I have to question anyone that would limit that experience. I mean look at that video at the 2 minute mark when Chad Michael Murray looks at Alicia Keys (someone on Youtube called is the f**k me look lol) and tell me that you could resist. I don’t care who you are as a woman if you  have seen that look you know it is earth shattering no matter who it’s coming from.

I have friends from different cultures and so many of them battle with the fact that their families want them to marry one of their own and they get so frustrated because they don’t think that way. People my age and younger were raised in a world where everyone was supposed to get along and not make race an issue, but then we’ve gotten told to date our own kind. It makes you say huh? I don’t get it I should be friends with everyone and treat them equally, but if a white guy asks me out I am expected to say no automatically. Yeah that makes sense…. I’m sorry I refuse to do that. I encourage anyone reading this to go out and do whatever the hell you want, those old values are like delusions if you pretend they are not there long enough eventually they will go away.

My fellow sisters I know we get mad when a black man is with a white woman, especially if they have a family, and we feel betrayed like we lost a good one. But it is here that I would like to remind you that white women are picking from the same pile of jackasses we are and like us they are just as likely to pull out an asshole.  They get stuck being single parents as well, they get cheated on as well, and they get dumped as well. So next time you feel like you are losing something remember things are never exactly as they seem (ex. Tiger Woods) you think she got a good man but really she just got a dick in sheep’s clothing.

So to conclude this post I would like to give you some pics of some out of this world men from various cultures and I dare you to say any one of them is better than the others. Enjoy!

I could have added pictures forever, but I’ll stop now ;0)


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