Stop, Think, Speak

After one too many visits to blog forums with a mass of very bitchy girls people (cause there is a growing number of guys too) itching to talk crap about each other I would like to issue the call for us to man the fuck up. I am so sick of clicking on a forum and seeing the words fat or ugly or whore pop up. It’s so negative and completely unnecessary considering it does nothing for you or the person you’re talking about.

Seriously when you go on a gossip site and leave a comment that Jessica Simpson is fat do you really think she sees it and goes off to cry? No! I’m guessing she’s vacationing on some private island living like a boss while you’re sitting in your living room attempting to take her down a notch. She doesn’t know you from Adam and I’m guessing she could give a shit what you say, so all you’ve done is make yourself look like a douche with nothing better to do than talk crap about people on the internet. And on top of being pathetic, it’s frustrating!

So I offer you some tips (courtesy of BroTips) in an attempt to help you fight off those urges:

Tip #1:

Next time you are browsing a site and come across a celebrity that gained a few pounds or happens to be wearing an unflattering outfit or when you see someone on the street that maybe looks a little iffy… calm the fuck down! Cause if the opportunity to talk shit about someone gets you that excited you should consider going to therapist before you open your mouth. We all enjoy the occasional laugh at questionable clothing choices or slight joy when the pretty girl put on a few pounds, but when it gets to the point that you need to make comments publicly you just may need help. The difference between normal people and haters is: normal people may chuckle and comment to themselves (possibly a friend) when they see something, but they know when to stop; haters feel the need to tell everyone possibly even embarrass the person in question, and they will take things way further than needed. And when you actions are that extreme it’s quite plausible you have more issues than a magazine rack.

Here’s an example:

You’re at a class reunion and notice an old classmate has put on some weight.

Normal Response: So and so gained a few pounds, she looks great though. And after that you leave it alone and go on with your night.

Hater Response: OMG so and so got so fat! Seriously she needs to put the fork down and hit a gym, right? It is here that you look around for other pathetic haters to validate your comment and spend the rest of your night talking about so and so. You may even go as far as calling people who were not there and snapping pics to share with others later.

See the distinction?

*This also goes for people that make rude comments (usually about weight or clothing) under the guise of being helpful. Haters have many costumes and this is just one of them… deal with your own shit!

Tip #2:

An inherently true fact because the amount of time you spend talking shit about someone else is the same amount of time you could spend doing something productive for yourself. Focusing all of your energy (hell even just part of it) pointing out what someone else needs to change is a waste of time. To use a quote from Ruby’s therapist: “Stay in your own backyard.”  When you are focused on you and living your life to the fullest I doubt you’ll have much time to talk about someone else.

Tip #3:

Your actions may have an immediate effect on the person’s self-esteem, but everyone with half a brain around you is secretly thinking you are just jealous. You running around hating on someone else will most likely make other people think the person you’re talking about is awesome because you can’t seem to get your mind off of them. This may take a little time to pop up, but eventually people will question why you need to keep talking about the other person and they will generally come to the conclusion that some part of you feels threatened by them. Talking about shit makes you feel better because everything else about them makes you feel worse.

Simple rule: People that are truly happy with themselves rarely need to put down someone else.

Tip #4:

If in the moment you realize that you acted like a douche (and we all do) just admit it, apologize, and move on. The difference between a bad person and a good person is the ability to admit when you make a mistake and take the initiative to fix it.

Tip #5:

Why is this here? Because if you feel good from the beginning you are less likely to lash out at someone else. You and everyone else will be way too focused on how awesome you are to care if the girl in the corner has on neon green shoes with a yellow and pink dress.

And that is it! I hope this helps you stop hating in it’s tracks because we all ban together and do it, but we really need to work together to stop it. There is too much negativity in the world and just by stopping the malicious hateful comments about others we can make it just a little more positive. Oh and one last thing…

That is just damn true and needed to be said.

Later 8)


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