The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
I just watched this episode of my strange addiction and it was focused around this guy that lived with his doll. You may have seen him before on something called Love Me Love My Doll on BBCA, in case you haven’t…
So Dave was on the BBCA show and at that point he was living with the doll and referring to it as his girlfriend (I don’t think he made it to wife at that point) and dressing it, sleeping with it, etc. By the time My Strange Addiction taped him he had devolved to calling the doll his wife, talking to it, and actually referring to it as if it was a human being. And the big question on both of these shows was what happened to him to make him choose a doll over actual human contact. They came up with every possible reason from childhood trauma to mental illness. Dave’s answer was that a major part of his attachment to the doll was the fact that he was lonely and I believe that’s a huge part of it. When loniless mixes with the wrong person it can be a dangerous cocktail.
Now I am not here to talk about Dave, but he did get me thinking about being alone and being able to be alone. I feel like being alone can be such a calming experience if done right, but if done wrong it can take you down some dark paths. And it all boils down to how you view being alone. Some people feel forced into being alone and for them it can become a prison of loneliness (as we see with dave) and that can evolve into bad habits. Whereas there are other people who view being alone as a time where they can focus on themselves and they get so much out of the time they have. So why don’t more people enjoy being alone?
I think it’s because many people feel being alone means you are in some way a loser. You always need people around you in order to feel like you’re relevant and important. I have friends that won’t do anything in public by themselves and will literally call everyone they know to find someone to go with them. And I always wonder why because I am the total opposite, I have activities I prefer to do alone. Though when I think about it I get it because many people feel like they wouldn’t know what to do if they had to be somewhere alone. Like if you eat in a restaurant alone and you aren’t working, on a cell phone, or reading a book people are looking at you like you are a weirdo and you know what? THEY AREN”T!
Maybe it’s because I’m an only child and thus learned to do things alone out of necessity, but I have no shortage of things I can do alone. I love to shop alone, chill out in coffee shops alone, and (the best thing) go to the movies alone. You have no idea how nice it can be to go to a movie without the hassle of arguing over a time or what show to go to. You can just get up and go, it’s amazing. I also like being around people, but when I’m in a group I feel like I’m on and I need to take breaks and just be by myself to unwind.
I consider myself lucky that I have the ability to be cool with being alone and I want to promote people feeling more comfortable with not being in the crowd. Especially because as healthy as it is to be around people, it is also just as healthy to take some time to yourself. And for those of you out there that are going, what they hell can I do alone?!?! I present you with a video all about being alone. I saw it on YouTube a little while back and instantly loved it. Hope you like it too!
And as always the daily pic…